Thursday, June 10, 2010

Ubiquitous World Cup predictions

Apparently, every good blogger needs to make his or her predictions for the tournament and far be it from me to buck the trend. I assume his Truthiness doesn't want to get involved in something so pedestrian. But me? Hell, I ain't proud.

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Group A: Mexico, France - I know, right? France? Really? The funny thing is that a lot of good teams (see: Italy 2006) are forged in the fires of adversity. I think France will be one of them, if they can keep Ribery off the teen girls and Henry's hands in his pockets.

Group B: Argentina, South Korea - S. Korea by virtue of Nigeria and Greece imploding. I don't know why, neither team fills me with confidence.

Group C: England, Slovenia - The U.S. will not make it from this group. They could, but after losing to England, I think there will be a surprise defeat to Slovenia. Because that's how we roll.

Group D: Germany, Australia - Australia over Serbia by virtue of tenacity. Australia won't play pretty, but they'll win.

Group E: Holland, Cameroon - I don't think the Danes or Japanese have it in them to pull an upset.

Group F: Italy, Slovakia - It's a toss up for second between Paraguay and Slovakia, but I think Slovakia will get a draw where Paraguay gets a loss.

Group G: Brazil, Cote d'Ivoire - Portugal and Ivory Coast can duke this one out, but I think African support puts Ivory Coast over the top.

Group H: Spain, Honduras - No, not really Honduras, but second is up in the air in this group, so why not Honduras? It doesn't matter, none of them are beating Brazil next round.

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Mexico over South Korea - Yeah, I hate Mexico winning too, but that's what I see happening.

Argentina over France - Which team was more screwed up coming into the finals? That's debatable, but I think Argentina is a better team on the field.

England over Australia - Because the English are so distraught to be playing in a former colony that they have to take it out on their former colonies.

Germany over Slovenia - No real upsets so far and I don't think this one is the first.

Slovakia over Holland - There's the first upset. I just think the Dutch will trip over themselves.

Cameroon over Italy - Italy's overall age gets to them playing so many games in such succession.

Brazil over Honduras/Whomever - You're shocked, I know.

Spain over Cote d'Ivoire - Or over Portugal. Portugal might actually give them more a game, but Spain will triumph in any case.

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England over Mexico - Closer than their friendly meeting, but I think England prevails.

Argentina over Germany - These are getting tougher to call, but I don't think Germany has performed well against strong opposition.

Brazil over Slovakia - Not even close, Slovakia will have nothing left after defeating the Dutch.

Spain over Cameroon - Sorry, gotta go with the odds on this one.

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Brazil over England - England will play a game that they should win, but manage to blow it.

Spain over Argentina - This is where Maradona fails as a coach. Spain is an equal, if not superior, team and Maradona can't cope with that.

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Spain over Brazil - Spain scares the crap out of me. Spain has enough star power to light Johannesburg for a century, but what's really horrifying is that they play like a club team and combine exceptionally well. Brazil plays well as a team, but not with the attacking lethality of the Spanish.

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So those are my predictions. I don't know that they really are, to be honest. Take this as my take on the most interesting of the plausible scenarios in my brain. If I actually thought this game was close to predictable, I wouldn't bother watching.

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